It’s been nearly a month since our sweet 17-year-old dog passed. I won’t get into details, but I’ll admit it was the hardest decision my husband and I have ever made. We miss her so much that it’s hard to stay in the apartment. Yet here I am, alone, sitting in front of the computer, thinking about our sweet Powwow and how our life has changed since she went away.
These past few weeks I’ve been working longer hours at school. I hadn’t been focused at work lately and my productivity suffered. I also dread being the first one to get home and find it so empty. It’s still a one-hour commute, but bumper-to-bumper traffic isn’t as stressful as it used to be. She no longer howls alone in the bedroom, desperately waiting to meet a friendly face. I don’t have the pressure of having to follow a strict schedule of medications. Life has become a lot less complicated for us. But I still miss her a lot.
Writing isn’t in the horizon yet. It’s a very isolating activity and right now we both need to be with each other and with people we love. We’re still trying to catch up on months (in some cases even years) we spent away from family and friends, because we had to take care of our fur baby. She was our priority until the very end. Wherever she is now I hope she knows how much she was and continues to be loved. She gave us so much that she deserved nothing less.
Moving forward from this experience I’m starting to make plans. Nothing too exciting, but I’m looking forward to a renovation of our place. A new floor and a coat of paint will help bring new energy as we begin this new chapter in our lives. But what will I do with this insatiable need to nurture now that I no longer have a pet?
My Instagram and Pinterest accounts are looking pretty green at the moment. I’m thinking tropical plants of all sizes and colors. I’ve always had a pretty good thumb, plus, living in a building with over 200 apartments I’m sure I can convince one of my neighbors to water my green pets while we’re away on vacation. It won’t match in any way or form the connection I had with Powwow, but it’s life growing under my care, and I believe it will make our apartment feel more like a home.
I’m 42 years old and have no children. I’m sure it’s not too late for me to have them, but I don’t think I want them right now. Our love for Powwow turned us into dedicated parents who only traveled from home to work. And for the thirteen years of our marriage that has been our story. At first it was due to our financial situation, later it was because our dog required more attention. We’ve had two weddings and no honeymoon. I say it’s time for us to enjoy ourselves before settling down with a child, a dog, or ten stray cats. That’s right, I’m not afraid to join the North Beach Crazy Cat Lady Club, but it will have to wait. I can’t be certain, but I think our life as a couple is about to begin.